Tag: selfhelp

B- effort…

I had a college professor tell me during a class that “I was the smartest student that he had ever had but the absolute worst student” I laughed at first and then thought about what he said and felt a little differently about the backhanded compliment I had just received. But like most things in the life of a young kid I was onto bigger and better things and that little nugget of wisdom went in one ear and out the other.

I hadn’t thought about that little moment in life for quite some time but hitting some golf balls this weekend at Topgolf for my brother in laws 40th birthday conjured up some old memories. You may be thinking that’s a random place to remember a story about squandering your talents but it will make a lot more sense after this. I used to play a lot of golf as a kid, like 27-36 holes a day at least 5 days a week for 4 or 5 summers. And not surprisingly you can get pretty darn good at golf when you play that much. Good enough to make the high school golf team and be a top tier member of the squad, good enough to win tournaments I was a single handicap golfer at the age of 14. I had the talent but I didn’t always have the mental focus to put it all together so when golf got moved to the swim season I decided to focus on swimming. I started on the swim team in my sophomore year I didn’t know a lot about swimming but I worked hard enough to figure it out and dropped a lot of time on my favorite event the 50 free. By my senior year, I was swimming low 22 seconds 50 freestyles and finishing 8th in the 5a regional championships for the state of Florida. A time like that wasn’t going to get me a full ride at a top caliber swim school but it was good enough for a walk-on opportunity at a D3 school. One season in me and my shoulders decided that 4 years of staring at a black stripe for a couple of hours a day had been more than enough. Besides I wasn’t doing that great in college,(see opening paragraph) and I needed a few less distractions in my life.

Back to last weekend. I hadn’t hit a golf ball in close to 2 and a half years so I wasn’t sure what to expect when it was my turn to get up there and put a few balls downrange. So I grabbed an 8 iron took aim at the 150-yard green and absolutely crushed it with a gentle fade right onto the target. I was able to recreate that shot over and over again with a variety of clubs that day. As we left an overwhelming sense that I had missed my life’s true calling rushed over me. I’m not saying that I was going to be tiger woods but I really believe I could have made a living off of playing golf. So what do I with this squandered talent now? The swing is there, the mental focus is better than ever but the time to go hit 600 balls a day and see if I could really make it is definitely nowhere to be found.

Why am I telling you this

The amount of things I’ve taken to what I have decided to call B- ability is staggering when I look back upon my life. I guess I should feel grateful that I’ve had the ability to progress that many things to an above-average performance ability and really a B- isn’t something to be that upset about. I would have loved to have a few more of those in college, my parents would have as well. It leaves me wondering if I had stuck it out and utilized those talents to the best of my ability where could I have taken them.

I’m not sure where my writing/storytelling ability lies on the grading scale yet. I’ve started and stopped on this blog at least twice now. Sometimes it seems pointless to type away at a computer screen when I perceive the limited impact I think it’s having on the world. What keeps me coming back is the hope that something I write is going to have an impact on at least one person’s life. I’m a different person today because a few people decided to write a book or start a podcast and I’m grateful for those people and the wisdom they have bestowed upon me.

Today I was listening to one of my favorite podcasts the 3of 7 project https://threeofseven.podbean.com and the guest Jeff Forester was talking about the book he had just written. He went over a quick overview of the process that got him started on the book and what steps he took to finish it. And like a backhanded compliment from a college professor there it was again, me having done a lot of the work but not showing up the rest of the way to make it happen. I had already done quite a few of the steps he suggested, I even wrote them down in a journal. Problem is that’s as far as I took it a couple of months back.

I’m not sure if the book will ever get published or let alone if it does if anybody other than a handful of people will ever purchase it but I’m assuring you this today. I feel that I have a talent for writing and I don’t want to find myself leaving another 40th birthday party wondering why I never did anything with it. So before my next birthday in the late spring-early summer of 2021, you’re going to be able to read something that may just give you the tools to make a few changes in your life.

Disconnect…

I’m only half kidding when I tell you that one of my favorite things about our national parks is the cell phone service and the ability to connect to the internet is absolutely horrible. And that’s why I’m a little upset to hear that at Yellowstone national park they are working to make upgrades to cell towers for better reception and more wifi capabilities through certain areas of the park. I’m all for faster internet speeds when I’m wearing a dress shirt and bowtie but when I’m looking at bison out in the pasture I don’t need to be posting it to social media for a live feed. P.S that’s a really excellent way to go viral as people would love to see someone get mowed over by a charging bison.

The internet and 24-7 news cycle have made it easier than ever to be connected and better informed on everything that is going on in the world at any moment. In a lot of ways that is a magnificent thing and in others it absolutely horrible. I have tried and often not succeeded at disconnecting from work, and the influences of the news/internet during weeknight family time, weekends, and most importantly family vacations. I like to think I was getting better but after a week and a half in northwest Wyoming, I’ve come to the conclusion that a modern man can indeed survive without access to WIFI and cell service and popular to contrary belief you can actually thrive.

It’s amazing how much time you have to go on walks, throw airplanes, look at the stars, play games, imagine what the clouds look like, run, swim, jump, and 10,000 other things that you could dream up when the allures of the modern world are as effective as a paperweight.

I took a lot of things away from that trip to our oldest national park but the thing I am trying to use the most is disconnecting from the news/internet and not getting angry at the things that I can not change or have little to no impact on my life. Instead, I choose to use that time to do things with my family like go to the beach, the park or simply play in the front yard and talk to neighbors about the weather.

Call to Action

Turn off your phone, put it down, and then walk away. Do the same for the television and then go outside and do something for a few hours. I believe in you, you can do it. I promise you that you will feel better afterward. Try this 1-2 evenings a week or maybe a whole day on the weekend. Worried that a family member will need to get in contact with you? Well if you have an iPhone I’m going to clue you in on one of my favorite ways to disconnect but let people know that you still somewhat care about them. It’s called the do not disturb while driving mode. Sure it may be a bit of a fib but when someone calls it will go automatically to voicemail and if they text a custom message will be sent automatically letting them know you are not by the phone. You can also set it up to where only certain numbers will be allowed to override the feature so you can take that call from your mom.

Here’s a link on how to set it up. I promise you its a game changer!!

https://support.apple.com/guide/iphone/turn-on-do-not-disturb-while-driving-iphae754533b/ios#:~:text=Go%20to%20Settings%20%3E%20Do%20Not,detects%20you%20might%20be%20driving.