personal growth – Subjects to change

Why, Subjects 2 change?

It probably would have been a good idea to write the answer to this question 40 or so blog posts ago but I’m glad I never got around to it until now.

Like most good brand names and nicknames this one started in a bar. We were talking about a restaurant in town that had undergone its 3rd concept change in about a year and just how expensive it must have been to build out, advertise and open and close that many times. That’s when one of the guy’s chimes up and goes if it was my restaurant I would just call it “menu, subject to change. And then I could do what ever I pleased.” We laughed hysterically at first and then I started thinking about the genius behind that name. I told him how smart I thought it was and that there was a good chance that I might utilize that name at some point in my life, he obliged and then I didn’t think about it for at least a year.

In June of 2019, the idea to start a blog was kicking around in my head, I had an idea for what to talk about but didn’t want to pick a name that narrowed potential subject maters to much. I wanted to be able to stay on a path but shoot off on a side trail for a change of view. And that’s when I remembered that lunch at the bar and subjects to change. I had already said I was going to use it and secured his approval through proper barroom protocol so a blog got a name that day.

A title like that gave me Cart Blanche to do whatever I felt like and write on a wide subject of topics and that felt awesome. I was telling you right from the start that this thing doesn’t have a lot of rules, we’re going on an adventure and maybe we’ll learn a few things along the way. And for about 6 months if people asked that was the 1-dimensional answer I gave them about the name.

But then one day out on a run I started contemplating on how change was a constant in life. The weather, our jobs, traffic, and a magnitude of other variables change around us every day. We often perceive ourselves to be the constant in this equation of change and that outside forces should adapt to our needs. That option sounds great but answer this question. When the temperature drops outside do you try and make the weather change or do you adapt to the changing conditions and grab a jacket? How we react to that change can play a huge role in the outcome of our day, week, month, and life. We are subjects to the change happening all around us and our ability to adapt keeps us from freezing in a world that is trying to take us down.

We are here on this journey called life to evolve, grow, and overcome. I want to push myself to unknown heights of my ability and the best way to do that is be ready for the things that are subject to change and learn to adapt to them.

Ogres, Onions and Fathers Day…

One of my favorite movie quotes of all times comes from the original Shrek movie, its funny but has some deep-seeded wisdom lurking under the surface. Shrek and Donkey are walking through a garden discussing why Shrek didn’t torment a village, Shrek’s response is Ogres are a lot like onions, they have layers.

Ogres and people are very different, at least that’s what I’ve been able to infer from the movies, I’ve never met one in real life before. But just like onions and ogres, we do have a lot of layers. I’d be willing to bet that I could put my self in at least 2 dozen categories of groups I belong to. Like a surfer, aspiring farmer, runner, cook, husband, and father. Of all of my layers, those last two are at the core of the onion for me. They are why I go to work, eat healthily, exercise, and try to be the best version of myself I can be. I hope that I am better at those now then I was a year ago and that future me is better then I am today.

I am very grateful to have both my parents in our lives as they are fantastic parents and even better grandparents. They are a literal encyclopedia Britannica of wisdom on everything from parenting to building an outdoor shower. I’m 37 and I still need my parents for that wisdom and perhaps most importantly to watch our kids a few days a week so we don’t completely lose our minds as a result of working from home with an almost 2-year-old.

The most important thing I will do with my life is to be the gentle guiding influence that will hopefully turn my kids into kind and successful members of society as they grow and mature throughout their lives.

The best way I’ve come up with so far on how to accomplish that goal is to lead through example and take care of myself mentally and physically so I can be around for along time.

I want to take the next few minutes to implore you on the importance of taking care of yourself so we can be great fathers for many more decades to come.

If you haven’t been to the doctor to get a physical because your young and invisible in the past 5 years you need to stop and make that happen. In the spirit of brutal honesty, I belonged to that camp until about a year ago. I went, it didn’t hurt and I felt grateful walking out of there after getting my lab results knowing that nothing unforeseen hadn’t been lurking under the surface.
Take an inventory of what you eat this week, maybe even write it down. If you see something that surprises you next Sunday, pick that one thing and try to eat half as much the following week and in half again the following week. I truly believe that quitting cold turkey is bad for long term success.
Pick a couple of bodyweight exercises like push-ups, squats, lunges, dips, crunches, planks you get the picture. Now pick a reasonable number of reps and days a week you will commit to putting in the work and start TODAY!!!

I promise you that if you put these three things into practice this year that you will be running circles around your kids come, fathers, day 2021.

Whats a portion

11 years ago my wife wanted to go see the movie Avatar in theaters. I wasn’t completely on board with this idea as going out to the movies is not on my top 10 list of favorite things. After a bit of negotiating we landed on an agreement. She would buy me one single beer at the world of beer before we saw the movie. My wife was speaking my language with this offer and pretty soon we were in the car headed to the theater.

On the drive I hatched a devious plan to make sure I got the best end of the deal and it went a little something like this.

Bartender – What will you have?

Me – Liter of Hofbrau please.

Bartender sets down beer.

Me – Thanks

Wife – Wow, that’s a lot more then one beer.

Me – It’s 1 beer because it came in 1 glass.

Wife – I hope you pee your pants in this 3 hour movie.

In theory I was totally correct in ordering that 33 ounce beer but in spirit I was way off base. And I did have to take a restroom break half way through the movie.

Thanks for sticking with me through that little story, I hadn’t thought about it in years and it made me laugh but I feel like it can teach us a good lesson.

What we eat and burn

The average American consumes more than 3,600 calories daily – a 24% increase from 1961, when the average was just 2,880 calories. I know right. That factoid is from a 2013 study released by The Food and Agriculture Organization of the United Nations (FAOSTAT)

For a reference point the average american male burns between 1,900 and 2,500 calories a day, that number will vary with activity level. That leaves an excess of a 1,000+ calories a day. Which in theory sounds like a ton of extra food but in reality can easily be accomplished when your 1 beer has 440 calories.

Understanding portion size.

Our view of a portion size is completely out of wack with that we actually should be consuming. This is most evident in restaurants where studies have shown that we could be consuming up to 4 times the correct portion size based on a 2,000 calorie diet. Think about the giant bowl of pasta the last time you ate out at your favorite Italian joint. That’s probably what Nona Maria would have served to her entire family back in the old country.

Practical Advice.

Consult with a registered dietitian and see what you really need as your daily calorie intake. If you can’t do that a Basal Metabolic Rate – BMR calculator will give you a good idea of where you are supposed to be.

Buy a digital scale and read your nutritional labels. It’s a bit of a shocker in the beginning when you realize that you’ve been eating what is considered 2-3 portion sizes. https://www.amazon.com/digital-scale/s?k=digital+scale I agree it seems really silly to weigh out everything you eat but after a few weeks of retraining your self you wont have to rely on it nearly as much. ( we will dive deeper into this subject in a future blog, there’s some sneaky business going on with nutrition fact panels)

Fill your plate the correct way. A well designed plate will look like this. 50% vegetables, 25% whole grain carbohydrate and 25% protein. Vegetables are nutrient rich, relatively low in calories and are high fiber/high volume foods. When you get that digital scale try weighing out 300+- grams of vegetables its a lot more than you think it will be. P.S that’s a pretty good number to aim for at dinner and I almost guarantee you wont leave the table hungry after that portion of vegetable.

Like I’ve mentioned before in so many of my posts the key to long term success is to slowly but surely eliminate those junk food items from your daily diet. If you need some Doritos’s in your life right now i’m cool with it. But instead of taking the whole bag to the sofa for the ensuing T.V binge fest make friends with your new digital scale and weight out a correct portion and then get your chill on.

When? how about right now.

There’s an ancient Chinese proverb that says the best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago and the second best time to plant a tree is right now.

How can today be the second best time? wouldn’t 19 years 364 days ago been a much better time then today to plant that tree. If you would have done it then you would already be sitting under that tree with a cold drink, reading a book and basking in the glorious shade it’s providing.

But alas we don’t have time machines and living in the past is for the dummies. We cant change what we have done or more importantly haven’t done in our pasts, and well that’s pretty darn important if you ask me. One of the two things I learned in college and actually use on the regular are, those who fail history are doomed to repeat it. In layman’s terms, learn from your mistakes dumb-dumb and don’t repeat them.

So with that being said NOW, RIGHT NOW is the second best time to go out and do something that’s going to pay off in the future. And quite possibly right now, in the middle of this epic dumpster fire of a global pandemic that we are all struggling through may be the best time in our life time to get out the shovel and start digging.

The Problem with trees.…

Is that you put one in the ground and you go out and water it every day for a couple of weeks and almost nothing happens. It hasn’t gotten much taller, there’s no fruit and the only thing getting some shade are the ants crawling around under neath it.

Things of great significance don’t change drastically over night they change little by little everyday, in fact most days its so insignificant that it doesn’t look like anything is happening at all. I don’t know about you but that’s pretty frustrating. I bought an orange tree because I was thirsty for juice now, not 5 years from now. It’s pretty easy to lose the drive to fertilize and nurture the tree when the grocery store down the street has a gallon of OJ cold and ready to go for just a couple of dollars.

I’m sure you’re thinking by now. Why are we still talking about trees? I don’t own a shovel or have the land to plant one in and for that matter who wants to get dirty.

Good because I have nothing else clever to say about them, so here’s the moral of the story…

Planting a tiny oak sapling and looking for shade is a lot like managing our health and well being, you are barging with the future. The decisions that we make today, tomorrow and so on will impact what happens to us in the future for better or worse. We can make wise choices and thrive and grow to our fullest potential or we can ignore the call and stunt our growth in the shadows of what could have been.

Call to action.

A lot of us are finding ourselves with extra time on our hands right now. Honestly I wish this wasn’t the case. This life right now is a nasty roller coaster and I’m ready to get off, but were stuck and might as well try and make the best of it.

Whats your big oak tree that you wish you would have planted 20 years ago? Is it better health, a shorter honey-do list,that book you’ve always wanted to write or maybe it’s just a simple ole shade tree.

Once you’ve decided what that tree looks like, stop imagining what it looks like and go grab the shovel and start planting. Set up some short term and mid range goals to measure your growth, this way you can see where you’ve been and where you are going.

Trust the process and one day you will find yourself under that tree drinking a glass of fresh squeezed O.J appreciating the work that you put in and being grateful that you started the project so long ago.