Tag: how are you living

epiphany at the sub shop…

I can really remember two profound moments of clarity in my 30’s and they both came in the weirdest of places, but maybe that’s where the greatest epiphanies come from. Life and discovered wisdom rarely look that perfect scene of a mountain vista and a quote bubble that we see on social media. The two things that drastically changed my life were a conversation by the trash can with a neighbor and a sign by the bathroom at a local jimmy johns. Were going to focus on the later one today.

several years ago my wife called at lunch and asked me if I wanted to meet at a local Jimmie Johns for lunch and I took her up on the offer. I got there before she did and found the only two available seats way in the back by the bathrooms. somehow the idea to not look at my phone seemed like the right thing to do so I started reading all the random signs around the restaurant. Most of them are just silly but there’s one that is solid gold. It’s the parable of the Mexican fishermen and American investment banker.

https://financialmentor.com/true-wealth/the-parable-of-the-mexican-fisherman-and-investment-banker/2422

STOP!!!! Did you read the parable? If not go back and read it, its a prerequisite for the second half of our lesson.

The value of an item.

MORE, MORE, MORE, I NEED MORE, GIVE ME MORE. I’LL BE HAPPY WHEN I HAVE MORE!!!

That 45 seconds worth of reading completely changed my thought process on how I was living/spending my life away. Prior to that story I had been saving for an Omega Speedmaster watch, aka the watch that went to the moon. Its really sweet looking and the history behind it is pretty amazing. In fact every single Speedmaster is built to NASA specifications and is approved to travel to outer space, how cool is that? You could own a watch that’s approved for space travel!

The two big problems with that watch are your going to spend at least $4,000 dollars to own it and I don’t know about you but I don’t have any reservations for the International Space Station booked any time soon so in all reality its a bit overkill.

There’s an awesome line in the Tao Te Ching an ancient book of chinese wisdom that says.

A teapot is useful not for what you can see. It is useful for what you cannot see — its emptiness.

When we understand that the value of an item whether it be a teapot or a watch or how we chose to live our lives is rooted in its functionality versus its outward astetic appeal we start to live the life of the fishermen versus the dream of the investment banker.

Sure a $4,000 dollar watch looks cool on your wrist but it tells time just like a $20.00 Timex watch. A Ferrari will get you looks at a traffic light but if you drive the speed limit you will get to work just as fast as the Ford following behind you.

I’m not going to lie to you I am guilty of consumerism, I like cool stuff on the outside of my “teapots” It makes me feel good about myself, but what is the long term cost of such a luxury item. Is it a few more long nights at the office, missing your kids events or even a couple of extra years at your job.

Live the dream now.

Maybe its un-American or anti-capitalistic of me to say this but I know that the fisherman is living his life the right way in our parable. He provides for his family financially but more importantly, he is happy and present for his family. Sure if he bought the extra boat and fished longer hours he could buy his wife a fancy car and his kid the newest iPhone to replace the love that’s gone missing by his absence. That love looks a lot like a fancy logo slapped on the outside of a “teapot” if you ask me.

Does the fishermen in our story have a fancy designer teapot decorated to let everyone know his wealth, negative, ghost rider. He has something better a boring old “teapot” on the outside that is filled with love, purpose and contentment on the inside.

I don’t remember what kind of sandwich I had in the shadow of those profound words by the bathroom that day but the wisdom imparted on me that day has served me well.

What’s your why???

I want to open by saying I’ve written this blog post about 8 times already and I’ve thought it was good and then I would read it and think I hadn’t hit really hit the mark. I feel like this version might be the one that see’s the light of day.

Four years ago on a Monday I took the trash out and had a conversation with a neighbor that made me think about the choices I was making in life. It started me on my path to where I am today. Those early days had some bumps, detours and full on sabbaticals as my “why” was motivating but was a bit superficial and self serving. I don’t want to discount this why to much as it still drives me today but about a year into being a Dad the “Why” Epiphany hit me really hard again. It came in the form of 5 simple words formed into a question by Travis Manion –http://www.travismanion.org

“If not me then who?“

Those words got me thinking more about the way I was living and what would happen 20 to 30 years down the road if I stayed on the current path I was traveling. Who would take care of my my wife and children if I let my health go by the wayside and I passed away relatively young? Who’s going to go surfing my with my son and daughter when they are teenagers? Who will teach my children how to cook, look someone in the eye and grow up to be fine contributing members of society?

I knew the answer to those questions and it was me! And that’s when I found my “why” that has kept me going every day since I asked myself those questions.

After several thousands of hours of podcasts, audible and long runs I have reached something that I think is of value to this world.

“One of the best ways to to take care of the people who rely on you is to first take care of yourself.” Its a little wordy but I think the message is solid.

To elaborate I’m not telling you to become a self serving jerk who ignores their family in the search for a banging six pack at the gym. I’m asking you to squeeze in 15 minutes a day of exercise, eat more vegetables and less processed food and perhaps more importantly go see your doctor for an annual check up.

What’s your why

My why and your why to take control of our health may be completely different and that’s to be expected. My why isn’t better then yours, just like yours isn’t better then mine. what is important is that we find the thing or things that will keep us on the path to who we want to be when we grow up.

Which leads me to my question for you today. Who/what do you want to be doing 10,15, 20 and so on years down the road? I would be willing to bet those ideas are filled with hobbies, good health and time spent with the ones you love. Now ask yourself this question are the choices I am making today moving me closer or further away from that dream.

I hope that you answered that question with a resounding yes but if you didn’t that’s quite alright. It wasn’t that long ago that my answer was the opposite of what it is today. And if you remember back to the WHEN blog post from this series, the second best time to do something is right now.

There are so very few things that we have any control over in life and I feel like that’s more evident know then ever in the time of covid. The choices that you make today, tomorrow and the next day will have a collective impact on your life down the road. Having a why that is bigger then your self will serve you far better then trying to rely on fleeting hopes of motivation.

If your curious about who I want to be when I grow up send me a message and I will elaborate. https://www.instagram.com/brian_in_search/