family – Subjects to change

The cool Dad..

I’m not lying to you when I tell you that my favorite television show is a cartoon on Disney Junior called Bluey. The show is about a family of Australian blue heeler dogs and their adventures in raising two small children. First, off it’s actually an Australian TV show that Disney picked up for viewing in America and it reminds me of a cleaned-up version of the Simpsons. It’s seriously funny but always does a great job of passing along a valuable life lesson in the end.

Bandit Heeller is precisely the kind of dad I want to be when I grow. Equal parts goofball that never really grew up and is willing to play silly games and get into mischief while also being able to pepper in solid parenting, encouragement, and life lesson along the way to make sure they know they are loved and prepared to be the best possible versions of themselves they can be. I know your thinking to yourself seriously Brian a cartoon on Disney junior can be that deep or funny, My child likes Fancy Nancy or paw patrol and I’ve never once thought that any part of those shows was enjoyable. Don’t believe me? Go ahead and give it a watch. The first two stories are epically fun and the last one called Shadowlands is an excellent lesson in life.

In my little more than 5 years as a dad and the life lessons learned from Bandit aka Dad on bluey, I’ve decided I want to be the cool dad for my kids. Not the cool dad that lets the kids drink and have parties at the house or the one that lets them run around like crazy whackado’s because coming down on your kids and disciplining them is just not the cool thing to do.

I want to be the dad that can take his kids rock climbing and bring their friends along and show off my abilities so they can brag about how strong their dad is. I want to be the dad that goes surfing with his kids and gets barrelled with all their friends watching. I want to be the house where the kids want to come and hang out because we’ve built an awesome backyard filled with things to eat and play with. I want to be the dad that laughs and jokes and has a good time so they want me to be around.

Because if they want me around and I get invited to do those things listed above I’m there to help, supervise and set an example, and maybe just maybe if I’m lucky figure out how to pass along a little life lesson in there while everyone’s having a great time. I know a time will come when they won’t want to hang out with me all the time but hopefully trying to be the cool dad will push that a couple more years into the future. And with that kind of time, I might be able to pass along just enough wisdom to keep them out of trouble and give them the ability to make choices filled with integrity when there isn’t an adult insight.

Like Bandit says in that first episode about making it too fun, ” Sorry, squirts. It’s a hard one to get right” but I figure if I’m there, we’re laughing and having a good time I must be doing an okay job.

Call to Action

if you’ve got kids under the age of 7 or so watch some episodes of bluey with them. If you don’t it’s fine I watched that entire youtube video before typing this and everyone’s asleep in my house. It’s high-quality family entertainment, and everyone is sure to laugh. These are our favorites ones. The Dump, The pool, Shadowlands, and the Fairy Spell.
Find a hobby that you and your kid can do together. I think it’s best if it’s something that you are both new to, this way you can grow and develop together and watch each other’s development. Might I suggest rock climbing/bouldering.

My why in video format.

Yesterday I wrote about “concepts” and the two things that are constant in life. The first was, Change is constant and the second is things fall apart. Shortly after I posted that video I was looking at My Facebook page and my mom shared the following video. I know I ask you to do a lot of things but I really think this is the easiest and maybe the most impactful way to show you the message that I’m trying to get across. Watch till the end and grab some tissues.

Epic, right? It made me tear up a little bit as well. I could not have scripted a better advertisement of why I make the decisions that I do every single day and why I’m trying to encourage others to make similar long term life choices as well. Life has very few constants as I mentioned earlier, Things are going to change and eventually all things fall apart and don’t function quite like they used to. We have the power in our daily choices to slow down the progression of the later of the two constants, Were never going to stop the aging process with any amount of superfoods and kettlebell exercises but the choices you make today, tomorrow, and 30 years from now could keep you around and active for your loved ones.

What’s your why???

I want to open by saying I’ve written this blog post about 8 times already and I’ve thought it was good and then I would read it and think I hadn’t hit really hit the mark. I feel like this version might be the one that see’s the light of day.

Four years ago on a Monday I took the trash out and had a conversation with a neighbor that made me think about the choices I was making in life. It started me on my path to where I am today. Those early days had some bumps, detours and full on sabbaticals as my “why” was motivating but was a bit superficial and self serving. I don’t want to discount this why to much as it still drives me today but about a year into being a Dad the “Why” Epiphany hit me really hard again. It came in the form of 5 simple words formed into a question by Travis Manion –http://www.travismanion.org

“If not me then who?“

Those words got me thinking more about the way I was living and what would happen 20 to 30 years down the road if I stayed on the current path I was traveling. Who would take care of my my wife and children if I let my health go by the wayside and I passed away relatively young? Who’s going to go surfing my with my son and daughter when they are teenagers? Who will teach my children how to cook, look someone in the eye and grow up to be fine contributing members of society?

I knew the answer to those questions and it was me! And that’s when I found my “why” that has kept me going every day since I asked myself those questions.

After several thousands of hours of podcasts, audible and long runs I have reached something that I think is of value to this world.

“One of the best ways to to take care of the people who rely on you is to first take care of yourself.” Its a little wordy but I think the message is solid.

To elaborate I’m not telling you to become a self serving jerk who ignores their family in the search for a banging six pack at the gym. I’m asking you to squeeze in 15 minutes a day of exercise, eat more vegetables and less processed food and perhaps more importantly go see your doctor for an annual check up.

What’s your why

My why and your why to take control of our health may be completely different and that’s to be expected. My why isn’t better then yours, just like yours isn’t better then mine. what is important is that we find the thing or things that will keep us on the path to who we want to be when we grow up.

Which leads me to my question for you today. Who/what do you want to be doing 10,15, 20 and so on years down the road? I would be willing to bet those ideas are filled with hobbies, good health and time spent with the ones you love. Now ask yourself this question are the choices I am making today moving me closer or further away from that dream.

I hope that you answered that question with a resounding yes but if you didn’t that’s quite alright. It wasn’t that long ago that my answer was the opposite of what it is today. And if you remember back to the WHEN blog post from this series, the second best time to do something is right now.

There are so very few things that we have any control over in life and I feel like that’s more evident know then ever in the time of covid. The choices that you make today, tomorrow and the next day will have a collective impact on your life down the road. Having a why that is bigger then your self will serve you far better then trying to rely on fleeting hopes of motivation.

If your curious about who I want to be when I grow up send me a message and I will elaborate. https://www.instagram.com/brian_in_search/