This land is your land, This land is my land.

I really love the word dichotomy, as a lot of things I like and believe in fall into its definition. just for housekeeping, purposes were going to insert the definition. 

Dichotomy – a division or contrast between two things that are or are represented as being opposed or entirely different.

Today Tuesday the 3rd of November is one of those dichotomy days for me. Yes, it is the single most important day of the next four years and your vote along with the votes of millions of others in this country will have a dramatic impact on the direction that our country heads down over the next decades. Chances are half of us will go to bed ecstatic and the other half will be devastated when we lay our head down to sleep late on Tuesday night.

Conversely, Tuesday, November 3rd is just another day in your life and whatever happens, that day will have an impact on your life but it won’t completely ruin or make the rest of your life.

I’m choosing to live my life the same way I always have today, tomorrow, and the next day. I’m going to control the things I can, work hard in every aspect of my life, love everyone equally, and not late hate, fear, or greed dissuade me from loving you my fellow American.

Music of your formative years…

I think we can all safely agree that the music that came out from the time that you were 13 to 20 years old was the greatest music of all time. Everything that came before it was old and outdated and everything after was just garbage. I know I feel this way about the music that came out in the late ‘90s and early 2000s and I’m sure that whatever time frame you lived those formative years in has a special place in your heart for that music as well.

For me, that music was punk rock and its offshoots. Bands like pennywise and perhaps most importantly U2 was the soundtrack of that time frame for me. If you are familiar with both of those bands you may be thinking to yourself that’s two very different sides of what could be considered punk rock music. And to this, I would say that you are very correct in your musical assessment of what the instrumentals sound like. However, you couldn’t be more wrong when it comes to the lyrical comparison of the wordsmiths who crafted the anthems of my childhood. Songs about standing up for what you believe in, questioning authority, and the unwavering dedication to remaining a unique individual and not assimilating into the crowd and the eventual grind of adulthood.

I loved these songs when I was a teenager but I wasn’t quite sure why, they were often loud, fast, and aggressive. I sang the lyrics but I don’t think I ever gave them much thought as to what their meaning was, I just knew I liked them and they sounded really good when they were played at full volume.

A lot of things have changed in my life over the past 20ish years but those favorite songs of my formative years are still up there at the top of my playlists and they sound even better cranked up now that I’ve come to realize the message of the lyrics I had been singing all those years. I’m proud of myself that I still live the message in those songs I love. I stand up for what I believe in, I question authority and politely dissent when necessary, and one thing is for damn sure I haven’t grown up and changed into the adult I never wanted to become. Sure I wear a shirt and tie for work, well I used to when I wasn’t working from home. But guess what? That tie is a bowtie because I’ll play along with your rules but I surely am not going to dress up like everyone else to fit in with the crowd. Think about the last minute of killing in the name of by rage against the machine if you’re wondering where the inspiration for the bowtie came from

Those songs you loved as a kid, I’m sure you’re still listening to them as well maybe you even crank them up as well. Do you still live the lyrics, or have you forgotten the message that you used to scream at the top of your lungs? We’re you a punk rocker or a hippie that went to all of the shows and swore you would never sell out to the adult crowd and assimilate into the norm? If the answer is yes or at least most of the time I’m very proud of you for staying true to the message. If not I might suggest googling the lyrics to that song that means so much to you and reevaluate your life choices.

Like a lot of things I write about the theme isn’t always the message I’m trying to get across. I fully understand that music and lyrics are not the overbearing character witness of our lives but they helped form our social and ethical DNA. Do you still embrace those things that you once believed in or are you living a life that the 20-year-old version of yourself would be disappointed in?

Start something new…

2020 has taught me a lot of lessons as I am sure it has to you as well this year. One of which is who routine and monotonous our lives tend to be as we grow up towards adulthood. Conversely living with two small kids under 5 years old has shown me how many new and exciting things they are willing to try. Sometimes they excel some times they fall flat on their face, scuff up a knee, cry about it and then try again and again and again until they finally get it. When was the last time you put that much effort or for that matter any real effort in trying something new?

If you’re over the age of 25 it may not be 100% your fault some studies have shown that your brain starts to get lazy around your mid-twenties. It seems like at that point our brain is a little more concerned with efficient transmission of learned data and less about filling up the memory bank. But that doesn’t mean you’re stuck with the things that you learned or should have learned in the first third or so of our lives. Many studies are showing results that keeping your mind active and learning new skills throughout your adult life will keep your mental faculties sharp well into your golden years. Games like bridge, sudoku, and chess all have been toted as heavy hitters but I’d like to offer up a new favorite hobby of mine. It’s a lot more physical than those previous options but I can promise you it’s just as big of a mental challenge to learn and master.

https://www.businessinsider.com/our-brains-can-get-lazy-by-age-25-but-you-can-counteract-it-2017-11

Bouldering aka Climbing

When I showed up to the climbing gym on their opening night I was green, to say the least, I had watched dawn wall and free solo but that was the extent of my climbing knowledge.  I showed up with a smile on my face a humble attitude and a willingness to learn and I’ve progressed quite well over the past three months. I’ve gained friends, taught my son a new skill set, and had an amazing time throughout all of it. I’ve fallen down too many times to count, kicked a boulder with my shin, and got a cool new scar, and been humbled by routes more times than I would like to admit but I keep coming back for more. Together my son and I are stronger physically, calmer under pressure, and most importantly better at solving elaborate puzzles while trying to stay on a wall 8-10 feet off the ground. If you can stay calm cool and collected under those conditions imagine how easy it will be to solve a problem with both of your feet planted firmly on the ground. I would be remiss if I didn’t note that taking a boy under the age of 5 years old has a ton of benefits for their physical strength, mental focus, and overall confidence but we have noticed this one side effect, everything in your house will turn into something that can/should be climbed so pay attention.

Call to action.

If there’s a gym close to where you live and you have the physical ability to go out and give it a try I cant not recommend it enough, In fact, you should take the entire family. From my experiences, the gym staff and fellow climbers are a friendly bunch of people that want you to learn and have a great and most importantly safe time. People will be glad to give you pointers and with a magnitude of climbing routes for all abilities, everybody in your group is sure to find something that is a challenge.

If you answered no to both of the above that’s fine as well. Climbing all though fun was just my muse for this post the more important thing I want us to take away is to get out there and try something new, get out there and just be bad at something but keep coming back until you get better. I know there are plenty of things in my life where when the going got tough, the tough just moved back towards the things that I was already pretty good at. What good are we doing ourselves when we continue to stay in our comfort zone and refuse to challenge ourselves to stay the course no matter how long and arduous it may be to become proficient in a new task. 

Take a little time over the next week or so and think about something that you’ve always wanted to learn how to do and go make it happen. There are more resources and access to friendly people out there on the web that would love to help you get started, so what are you waiting for?  Go out there and be horrible but stay the course, I can’t wait to see some horrible paintings and pictures of burnt meals over the coming weeks.

Easy tortilla soup

I learned to cook through spending time in the kitchen with my parents and through watching cooking shows on Saturday mornings on PBS as a kid. Yep , I wasn’t watching Spiderman as a kid I was watching Julia, Jacque and Graham. In fact right now I’m watching cooking shoes on tv and I’m not talking about the watered down reality shows you see on food network.

I’m not sure when and where I first learned this recipe while sitting in front of the TV but one thing is for certain it sure is tasty and really easy to get on the table. 30 minutes from start to finish, minimal chopping and clean up make for an awesome mid week meal. Along the way I’ve taken some creative liberties and short cuts to make it my own.

Ingredients

  • 1 TBS olive oil
  • 1 onion roughly chopped
  • 1 Jalapeno sliced. – ribs and seeds removed
  • 5 cloves of garlic smashed
  • Cilantro stems finely chopped
  • 4 large ripe tomatoes
  • 1 quart of stock. Chicken or vegetable
  • Tortilla chips
  • 1/2 tbs cumin powder
  • Optional toppings- diced avocados, pumpkin seeds, shredded chicken, cotija, finely diced cilantro leaves

In a medium sized soup pot heat the olive oil over a medium heat and sauté onions for 2-3 minutes or until starting to turn a light golden brown and then add the jalapenos and cook for another 1-2 minutes. Follow with the smashed garlic cloves, cilantro stems and cumin powder and cook for another minute or so. Add your stock of choice, the tomatoes and a handful and a half of tortilla chips and cook for 10-12 minutes or until tomato skins have started to peel off. This next step can get a little dangerous so just proceed with caution! Transfer a 1/3 of the mixture into a blender and leave the lid cracked just a little, cover with a clean kitchen towel and give it a 30 second blitz or so. Transfer to another sauce pan and repeat until all of the soup has had its chance in the blender and allow to come back to temperature over medium heat for a few minutes.

When ready to eat, add 6-8 tortilla chips to a bowl and cover with the soup. At this point you can add your desired toppings and go to town on this bowl of deliciousness.

Advanced version

The above recipe is amazing but if you want to push it over the edge here are a few suggestions. Roast your tomatoes, onions and jalapeno in the oven with a gentle rub of olive oil for 30 or so minutes at 375. Or if your really feeling adventuress or have the grill going fire roast and then set off the vegetables to the side of the grill for a gentle smoking.

B- effort…

I had a college professor tell me during a class that “I was the smartest student that he had ever had but the absolute worst student” I laughed at first and then thought about what he said and felt a little differently about the backhanded compliment I had just received. But like most things in the life of a young kid I was onto bigger and better things and that little nugget of wisdom went in one ear and out the other.

I hadn’t thought about that little moment in life for quite some time but hitting some golf balls this weekend at Topgolf for my brother in laws 40th birthday conjured up some old memories. You may be thinking that’s a random place to remember a story about squandering your talents but it will make a lot more sense after this. I used to play a lot of golf as a kid, like 27-36 holes a day at least 5 days a week for 4 or 5 summers. And not surprisingly you can get pretty darn good at golf when you play that much. Good enough to make the high school golf team and be a top tier member of the squad, good enough to win tournaments I was a single handicap golfer at the age of 14. I had the talent but I didn’t always have the mental focus to put it all together so when golf got moved to the swim season I decided to focus on swimming. I started on the swim team in my sophomore year I didn’t know a lot about swimming but I worked hard enough to figure it out and dropped a lot of time on my favorite event the 50 free. By my senior year, I was swimming low 22 seconds 50 freestyles and finishing 8th in the 5a regional championships for the state of Florida. A time like that wasn’t going to get me a full ride at a top caliber swim school but it was good enough for a walk-on opportunity at a D3 school. One season in me and my shoulders decided that 4 years of staring at a black stripe for a couple of hours a day had been more than enough. Besides I wasn’t doing that great in college,(see opening paragraph) and I needed a few less distractions in my life.

Back to last weekend. I hadn’t hit a golf ball in close to 2 and a half years so I wasn’t sure what to expect when it was my turn to get up there and put a few balls downrange. So I grabbed an 8 iron took aim at the 150-yard green and absolutely crushed it with a gentle fade right onto the target. I was able to recreate that shot over and over again with a variety of clubs that day. As we left an overwhelming sense that I had missed my life’s true calling rushed over me. I’m not saying that I was going to be tiger woods but I really believe I could have made a living off of playing golf. So what do I with this squandered talent now? The swing is there, the mental focus is better than ever but the time to go hit 600 balls a day and see if I could really make it is definitely nowhere to be found.

Why am I telling you this

The amount of things I’ve taken to what I have decided to call B- ability is staggering when I look back upon my life. I guess I should feel grateful that I’ve had the ability to progress that many things to an above-average performance ability and really a B- isn’t something to be that upset about. I would have loved to have a few more of those in college, my parents would have as well. It leaves me wondering if I had stuck it out and utilized those talents to the best of my ability where could I have taken them.

I’m not sure where my writing/storytelling ability lies on the grading scale yet. I’ve started and stopped on this blog at least twice now. Sometimes it seems pointless to type away at a computer screen when I perceive the limited impact I think it’s having on the world. What keeps me coming back is the hope that something I write is going to have an impact on at least one person’s life. I’m a different person today because a few people decided to write a book or start a podcast and I’m grateful for those people and the wisdom they have bestowed upon me.

Today I was listening to one of my favorite podcasts the 3of 7 project https://threeofseven.podbean.com and the guest Jeff Forester was talking about the book he had just written. He went over a quick overview of the process that got him started on the book and what steps he took to finish it. And like a backhanded compliment from a college professor there it was again, me having done a lot of the work but not showing up the rest of the way to make it happen. I had already done quite a few of the steps he suggested, I even wrote them down in a journal. Problem is that’s as far as I took it a couple of months back.

I’m not sure if the book will ever get published or let alone if it does if anybody other than a handful of people will ever purchase it but I’m assuring you this today. I feel that I have a talent for writing and I don’t want to find myself leaving another 40th birthday party wondering why I never did anything with it. So before my next birthday in the late spring-early summer of 2021, you’re going to be able to read something that may just give you the tools to make a few changes in your life.

Disconnect…

I’m only half kidding when I tell you that one of my favorite things about our national parks is the cell phone service and the ability to connect to the internet is absolutely horrible. And that’s why I’m a little upset to hear that at Yellowstone national park they are working to make upgrades to cell towers for better reception and more wifi capabilities through certain areas of the park. I’m all for faster internet speeds when I’m wearing a dress shirt and bowtie but when I’m looking at bison out in the pasture I don’t need to be posting it to social media for a live feed. P.S that’s a really excellent way to go viral as people would love to see someone get mowed over by a charging bison.

The internet and 24-7 news cycle have made it easier than ever to be connected and better informed on everything that is going on in the world at any moment. In a lot of ways that is a magnificent thing and in others it absolutely horrible. I have tried and often not succeeded at disconnecting from work, and the influences of the news/internet during weeknight family time, weekends, and most importantly family vacations. I like to think I was getting better but after a week and a half in northwest Wyoming, I’ve come to the conclusion that a modern man can indeed survive without access to WIFI and cell service and popular to contrary belief you can actually thrive.

It’s amazing how much time you have to go on walks, throw airplanes, look at the stars, play games, imagine what the clouds look like, run, swim, jump, and 10,000 other things that you could dream up when the allures of the modern world are as effective as a paperweight.

I took a lot of things away from that trip to our oldest national park but the thing I am trying to use the most is disconnecting from the news/internet and not getting angry at the things that I can not change or have little to no impact on my life. Instead, I choose to use that time to do things with my family like go to the beach, the park or simply play in the front yard and talk to neighbors about the weather.

Call to Action

Turn off your phone, put it down, and then walk away. Do the same for the television and then go outside and do something for a few hours. I believe in you, you can do it. I promise you that you will feel better afterward. Try this 1-2 evenings a week or maybe a whole day on the weekend. Worried that a family member will need to get in contact with you? Well if you have an iPhone I’m going to clue you in on one of my favorite ways to disconnect but let people know that you still somewhat care about them. It’s called the do not disturb while driving mode. Sure it may be a bit of a fib but when someone calls it will go automatically to voicemail and if they text a custom message will be sent automatically letting them know you are not by the phone. You can also set it up to where only certain numbers will be allowed to override the feature so you can take that call from your mom.

Here’s a link on how to set it up. I promise you its a game changer!!

https://support.apple.com/guide/iphone/turn-on-do-not-disturb-while-driving-iphae754533b/ios#:~:text=Go%20to%20Settings%20%3E%20Do%20Not,detects%20you%20might%20be%20driving.

The Search…

The problem with life is that it doesn’t come with a set of instructions on how to assemble a plan for it. You know a detailed step by step set of instructions on how to make sure what you build ends up looking the picture on the box. How great would it be to turn to the book of life and read “make sure you do step G and let it dry completely for 24 hours before moving onto step H.” How much pain and frustration could we avoid in our lives if we just had the directions to get from point a to point b in the most efficient path??? On the surface, this sounds pretty nice until you start to realize that would probably lead to the most boring, beige, milk toast, and pedestrian life you could ever imagine.

In Fyodor Dostoevsky’s book note’s from the underground he espouses that if the world were perfect and nothing ever went wrong the first thing people would do is break something or desire for even more of a great thing just to see what would happen. Seems pretty counter-intuitive if you ask me but leaning back on past life experiences I tend to see the wisdom in his thoughts. If everything were perfect nothing spontaneous or truly miraculous would ever happen and although that predictable path may be efficient it sure would be boring.

I recently had the chance to drive route WY-22 between Jackson Wyoming and Victor Idaho. Its a mountain pass between the two towns on the southern edge of the Teton Range. Its by far the scariest road I’ve ever driven in my life and if you’ve had the privilege of driving that stretch of highway you’ll probably agree with me. With its 10% gradients, switchbacks, and sheer cliffs that but up against the edge of the roadway its a “10 and 2” drive the whole time. One minute your flooring it to get up the hill and a minute later it’s stomping on the breaks to make the 180-degree turn. The road is about 20 miles between the two towns but at an average speed somewhere in the 30’s it sure takes a long time to make that drive in comparison to traveling down a highway in pancake-flat “boring” Florida.

Once I safely got my wife, kids, and father in law over that mountain in our rented minivan my first thought was ” I want to do that again but in some kind of sports car so I can really push it” And there it is I made it through something perfectly fine and there I am wanting to throw caution and speed limits to the wind and charge up and down that mountain like there’s no tomorrow.

For my money, I’d rather my life highway be somewhere between Wy-22 and I-95 through north Florida. A good amount of ups and downs and some turns out of nowhere with plenty of miles of open road where you can get out and cruise for a while. In other words, a life that has some adventure and unexpected surprises smattered in with the day-to-day predictability of suburban life.

I’ve been absent from this writing thing for a while. I’m not really sure why it happened other then maybe the tank ran out of gas in what has been a long stretch of windy roads that has been highway 2020. Never the less on that little detour we had quite a few adventures and I’ve got some new fodder for our journey together on this adventure of life where we can make it up as we go along. If we were given directions we would have chucked them out the window a long time ago anyways.

The dichotomy of the individual…

When you go for long runs with out any kind of outside distraction like music your mind starts to wander after a while to some pretty random places. Last week this little nugget came to mind and I worked through it for the better part of a few hours.

Its weird to think that “I” the individual is the most important thing on the planet. How I feel, my ethics and moral compass, my passions and what I believe in are ultimately the most important things on the planet. On the other hand when you’re 1 in 7.594 billion who really gives a damn what I think or feel or talk about utilizing this 21st century gift called the internet.

I think I’ve been working through a bit of an existential crisis lately on my attempts to change the world through my social media platforms and my desire to write had been waning a bit. These three minute reads often take a couple of 30-40 minute writing sessions to finally flesh something out that I hope has a balance of insightful wit scattered in for good measure.

After a couple more miles and closing in on some serious heat related injuries I was reminded of the serenity prayer, you know the one that goes ” God, Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change…” Thats a great one but the version that came to mind for me was.

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the people that I can not change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know its me.”

My race went about as poorly as it could have last week in consideration to my goal distance but I still got a few things out of it. The wisdom to know that when your body starts sending you serious signals that your cooking from the inside, you listen. The wisdom to finally learn that August trail races in Florida are not the smartest for me. But more importantly I think I finally learned that instead of worrying about the things/people I can not change I’m going to worry about the most important person on the planet for a while and work on changing who they are.

That person can make a difference in their community and the best news is they can run but they can’t hide from me.

epiphany at the sub shop…

I can really remember two profound moments of clarity in my 30’s and they both came in the weirdest of places, but maybe that’s where the greatest epiphanies come from. Life and discovered wisdom rarely look that perfect scene of a mountain vista and a quote bubble that we see on social media. The two things that drastically changed my life were a conversation by the trash can with a neighbor and a sign by the bathroom at a local jimmy johns. Were going to focus on the later one today.

several years ago my wife called at lunch and asked me if I wanted to meet at a local Jimmie Johns for lunch and I took her up on the offer. I got there before she did and found the only two available seats way in the back by the bathrooms. somehow the idea to not look at my phone seemed like the right thing to do so I started reading all the random signs around the restaurant. Most of them are just silly but there’s one that is solid gold. It’s the parable of the Mexican fishermen and American investment banker.

https://financialmentor.com/true-wealth/the-parable-of-the-mexican-fisherman-and-investment-banker/2422

STOP!!!! Did you read the parable? If not go back and read it, its a prerequisite for the second half of our lesson.

The value of an item.

MORE, MORE, MORE, I NEED MORE, GIVE ME MORE. I’LL BE HAPPY WHEN I HAVE MORE!!!

That 45 seconds worth of reading completely changed my thought process on how I was living/spending my life away. Prior to that story I had been saving for an Omega Speedmaster watch, aka the watch that went to the moon. Its really sweet looking and the history behind it is pretty amazing. In fact every single Speedmaster is built to NASA specifications and is approved to travel to outer space, how cool is that? You could own a watch that’s approved for space travel!

The two big problems with that watch are your going to spend at least $4,000 dollars to own it and I don’t know about you but I don’t have any reservations for the International Space Station booked any time soon so in all reality its a bit overkill.

There’s an awesome line in the Tao Te Ching an ancient book of chinese wisdom that says.

A teapot is useful not for what you can see. It is useful for what you cannot see — its emptiness.

When we understand that the value of an item whether it be a teapot or a watch or how we chose to live our lives is rooted in its functionality versus its outward astetic appeal we start to live the life of the fishermen versus the dream of the investment banker.

Sure a $4,000 dollar watch looks cool on your wrist but it tells time just like a $20.00 Timex watch. A Ferrari will get you looks at a traffic light but if you drive the speed limit you will get to work just as fast as the Ford following behind you.

I’m not going to lie to you I am guilty of consumerism, I like cool stuff on the outside of my “teapots” It makes me feel good about myself, but what is the long term cost of such a luxury item. Is it a few more long nights at the office, missing your kids events or even a couple of extra years at your job.

Live the dream now.

Maybe its un-American or anti-capitalistic of me to say this but I know that the fisherman is living his life the right way in our parable. He provides for his family financially but more importantly, he is happy and present for his family. Sure if he bought the extra boat and fished longer hours he could buy his wife a fancy car and his kid the newest iPhone to replace the love that’s gone missing by his absence. That love looks a lot like a fancy logo slapped on the outside of a “teapot” if you ask me.

Does the fishermen in our story have a fancy designer teapot decorated to let everyone know his wealth, negative, ghost rider. He has something better a boring old “teapot” on the outside that is filled with love, purpose and contentment on the inside.

I don’t remember what kind of sandwich I had in the shadow of those profound words by the bathroom that day but the wisdom imparted on me that day has served me well.

Why do we scream for ice cream ??

It’s the middle of summer here in the northern hemisphere and on these scorching hot days, there’s no denying that ice cream is pretty much the answer for all of life’s problems. But have you ever wondered why foods like ice cream are so crave-worthy?

The answer to that question is relatively simple once you understand the science behind it. All forms of fat pack 9 calories per gram and all carbohydrates aka sugars pack in 4 calories per gram. Ice cream along with a lot of our other favorite foods is the magical combination of both. This combination of chemicals is the most energy-dense partnership in the world of food and I think we can all agree they taste pretty amazing as well.

So why is it that we crave that combination so much? The answer dates back to the beginning of our species and has a lot to do with food insecurity. If you were a nomadic hunter and you happened to stumble across something high in fat or in sugars your brain would send a message through the reward circuit that this is pleasurable and you should keep eating. This reward circuit was massively important for the success of human beings when food was hard to come by but now it’s a major pain in the butt when the next meal is as easy as tapping a few buttons on your phone.

You can read more about the science behind the reward circuit here. https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/how-sugar-and-fat-trick-the-brain-into-wanting-more-food/

Fat and Sugar in nature

The combination of fats and sugars are for the most part a man-made culinary combination. There are very few if any naturally occurring foods that are high in both of these categories. You either get high fat in foods like dairy and eggs or high in sugar like fruits and honey. I’m not sure if you’ve ever read a recipe on how to make homemade ice cream but those last four food Items I just listed would be in the vast majority of them.

Sugar Coated Lies

The first food that I was able to seriously reduce in my diet was added sugar and it was thanks to Jocko Willink and this epic little piece of wisdom.

Call To Action

Now we know why we crave ice cream, the desire to eat more of foods like that have been hardwired into our brains since the beginning of time. But we are 21st-century beings, we built self-driving cars, put people into outer space and have been to the bottom of the ocean. We are smart, we are disciplined and just like Nancy told us to do back in the 80’s we can “just say no” to ice cream and all of her nefarious cousins, or at least we should 95% of the time.